Health

Trying to keep up with frequent posting here. . .

Just a small background on my health issues that I have struggled with. One of the biggest being smoking. My father has been a heavy smoker ever since I was born and always preached to me that I should never start. He told me the same thing his father told him when he started smoking in his teen years, "someday you will be sorry". Well for me that day has come and passed, and also for him as well. About two years ago he was diagnosed with copd after a bout of lung issues that landed him in the hospital for about two weeks. The doctors said that if he somehow managed to sleep the night he went into the emergency room, he probably would have never woke up. That scared him enough to quit cold for about two months and then he was back at it, not as heavily but smoking again nonetheless. A little side story about my father is that he always has something to get done, weather it be working on the house remodel or splitting wood for heat in the winter. He works literally non-stop 24-7 with about 5-6 hours of sleep on and average night (he works night shift at Ford Motor Co.) when he went back to smoking (after struggling with quitting numerous times, trying chantix, nicorette, and many other alternatives) he didn't have the energy to get his work done.

Stumbling upon a new alternative that has made its way into the states, he started using electronic cigarettes and has been cigarette free for more than a year now. I followed in his footsteps and purchased my own arsenal of e-cig supplies, batteries, mods, and juices (liquid nicotine flavors) I'm not going to go into the details of how they work but the basic principal is that they deliver the craving a smoker's body has for nicotine without the harmful tar, carcinogens and pesticides that are found in today's common cigarette. This is great I thought. No smell, no terrible after-taste, and best of all it's water vapor, so no harm done with smoke. The downside has finally begun to hit me. With all the fruity and delicious flavors the juice comes in, I find myself puffing on this stick more then I would smoke throughout the day. I can do it at work, school, in my dorm, and there's no harm because it just evaporates odorless. But now, how does this help as a QUITTING aid? It doesn't. You can choose lower levels of nicotine mixtures, but then you wind up using it more because it doesn't satisfy. I've gone up and down several times (made it to zero nicotine for a while) which fulfills the physical motions but doesn't satisfy the  chemical need for nicotine.

Wanting to keep this short, I won't go into further conundrums, but my frustration is apparent. I hate it when someone says "just stop doing it" because they have no concept of the chemical addiction that goes along with cigarettes. It would be like telling someone who drinks 2-3 cups of coffee every morning or drinks soda to just quit drinking it. Caffeine is a similar stimulant, and although it may sound easy, try it for a week then tell me it's not hard. I want to quit for my health and my career as a musician. granted, percussionists don't generally need lungs to play, but you still have to breathe. Furthermore, my cycling abilities are greatly handicapped, I can ride 20-30 miles at a average speed of about 16mph on the road and be fine, but get me on the trails and I'm huffing after the first hill or mud pit in cyclocross. Smoking has made me a shitty roadie, and I hate it. I know that if my lungs were healthy, I could really kick some ass on my bike with my massive legs and start to loose the small pot belly I have (legs and arms are strong as hell and all muscle).

So something needs to change... that is all...

Bicycles - My latest addiction

I haven't posted on here in a while, and I was thinking of starting a whole new blog page just for bicycles (I could write forever). But we'll see where this goes.

For those of you who do not know, I've spent that last 5 years working on bicycles for a living while pursuing a higher education at college. I really love every aspect of the job, my job that is, but there always seems to be little quirks about the industry as a whole that can really tick you off. I don't know what aspect to dive into, but again, we shall see what direction my mind flows.

Being a shop employee definitely has it's perks over retail (which is what I worked for 6 years before this new "career"). You don't have a huge corporate entity hanging over your head, or even managers or district supervisors looking over your shoulder. It's a small business usually, owned by one person and everyone is like one big family. I don't even really think of my manager as my superior, I mean I still have to listen to what he tells me, but there's more of a friendship/commodore between him and I. There aren't any corporate policies or special meetings (usually) that you have to attend for sales tactics or profit yearly reviews. So in that aspect it's great.

The only bad part is that as I mentioned above, sometimes the industry just sucks. There's no other way to describe it, or put it in nicer terms, it just sometimes kicks you in the ass. It's usually small things like an outdated bottom bracket design or an outdated drive train technology that cause hair pulling, but the real kick in the pants is when a frame fails and the company fails to stand behind their product. Luckily I've never had a personal issue with this, but I have heard plenty of horror stories from friends and customers who come in to replace their broken steed with a newer better one. In terms of frame material, everyone has their own opinion on what is best, but it really comes down to what you enjoy riding most. Past that, READ the warranty info from whichever company you decide to choose for your next money pit...err I mean bike. But really, if all else fails, the frame is the heart of your machine and will still accept parts to replace the ones that failed. Frames can never be repaired to ride like they once did. To that end, look for a company with a lifetime warranty on the frame.

In terms of components (the working parts that make the wheels spin) it's a lot like modern technology. Every company will come out with newer, lighter, faster products to make you a better cyclist. At least that's what they want you to believe. At some point every immortal (non-sponsored cyclist who has to buy their own equipment) has to draw a line in the sand and realize that there's a plateau in the relationship between how fast you are, and how many grams you saved from that last upgrade to the new groupo that shaved 60 grams off your bikes weight. If that's not clear, what I'm saying is that the rider is more relevant than the machine. This being basically my own realization that I suck and I'm slow, but that's OK, because I will keep at it and hopefully get better. It's not like I'm getting paid to race and do well, I ride for the sheer enjoyment and challenge.

Another thing on the contrary, you do get what you pay for in this industry. Don't come to your local bikes shop with your 3 year old wal-mart special bike (probably a schwinn, which makes me sick to say) and think I'm crazy when I tell you that your promax linear pull brakes don't have adjustment screws, and the springs are worn out, so you have to replace the whole brake set. Buy a quality bike from your local bike shop and you will not only buy into a relationship with the employees who are there to take care of your steed when it needs some TLC but also a long lasting enjoyable ride that will have few and far between the issues that a department store bike will have. Not to mention you'll actually have a bike that fits your body and riding style, thus giving you a comfortable and enjoyable ride. The relationship between bike shop employees and customers come about because essentially you are the reason we have jobs. The bikes (although not always manufactured in the US) are all assembled and repaired right here by the same people that sell them to you. And in case you're wondering why I was bashing the industry, its because we (the shop employees) are the ones who have to deal with it for the customer, it's what we're here for. It is rare that those things cause an issue for the customer.

Just thoughts

6.6.09

6.6.08

A day that has changed me forever.

The day I realize how cruel and unfair life can be.

The day I don't want to remember, but can never forget.

I took this day for granted, just like any other day, but this was far from any other day. The day my heart dropped down below my gut. And now I am empty inside. There's nothing left, none at all. No feeling, No anger, No sadness. Just blank. Trying to stay strong for those who love me and those I love, but I'm loosing my grip. My grip on life, on faith, on hope. I hear over and over like a bad record in my head, Why? Why did this happen? Why him? just why. I don't understand this plan. It's disturbingly unfair. The pain is all too much to comprehend. Just trying to let it go, to let go and let God. It's all too hard, all too soon. Just a moment of fun in a flash was all ruined. How could he let this happen? Why is this pain...this suffering his will? is it his will? Who could possibly deserve this? Nobody. Not a single soul should have this. And I ask again with no reply, Just Why?

I wish I could go back.

I wish the fields were full.

I wish it will be okay.

I wish I weren't so weak.

...and I hope I can keep it together...

-Pray

The Road

I do quite a bit of traveling, never been on a plane or boat, it's always been the road. I've found on more than one occasion that I have fallen in love with driving. and I just randomly decided to put my feelings own on paper...so here it is.

The Auto

Your vehicle is not just a means of transportation, but yet a statement of who you are and what kind of driving you do. Weather it's a car or truck, it makes no difference. What makes a difference is the characteristics of the car; a stick shift says you live to control the car as much as possible, an automatic can still mean the same, but it's less effort on the drivers behalf. There's also the look of the car; two door sports car, sedan, coupe, convertible, muscle car, export, domestic, exotic. This would state the purpose of the car, and thus the motive of the driver. There are other factors as well, such as the drive; rear wheel, front wheel, or all wheel. However that is not as relevant.

The Drive

You approach the car looking it over, checking it's cosmetic well being and eyeing it's attractive features. Open the door and the lights come on to let you know she's ready to go, inviting you inside. But you don't go, no... you must check the mechanics so that nothing unexpected happens down the road. You reach in, pull the hood release and lift up the bonnet looking first for any stains or liquids that may be leaking. Check the oil, the blood and life of the car, check the coolant, the engines temperature management, and then check the other amenities; windshield fluid, power steering, transmission, and don't forget the tire pressure. Finally you're ready to go, you close it up and head back for the interior. The seat is comfortable and is properly adjusted for your personal fit to the vehicle, you adjust the wheel, close the door, and put the key in the ignition. The engine roars to life with a flick of the wrist and you grip the wheel, feeling the power surge through your body from the pedals and wheel. It travels up your limbs until it reaches your body and sends a tingle in your spine to your brain. Reach over and put it in gear, the rpms steady as you roll your foot over to the accelerator. It's this point that man and machine become one; Your in control, but it has all the power. the exhaust tone creates a pleasing drone as the transmission, or your hand, shifts smoothly through the gears as you're gaining speed. The tarmac creates friction on the tires, and harmonizes with the exhaust tone creating a symphony of sounds that assure you everything is doing it's job. If you please to, you can listen to your favorite tune on the radio that keeps your mind free, but yet it will always be glued to the road ahead. Cruise control is for those that can't work with long term relationships, you cannot commit your foot to the accelerator, you would rather have a computer do it for you...No matter how long the trip you feel accomplishment and pride when you reach your destination. Proud of the reliability your car has offered, and the perfect, seamless connection you had with the machine. It's all over for now, you get out and secure your car and be sure nobody disturbs it. But the cycle will soon begin again, and every thrill and chill will always be there.

-the love of the road